Q&A: When Is It OK To Stop Using Condoms In A Monogamous Relationship?

Dear Juliette,

I have been dating a girl exclusively for two months and she still insists on using condoms even though she is on the pill. I think she is being paranoid. When is it ok to stop using condoms in a committed monogamous relationship?

My Dear Reader,

I think that in each individual relationship it needs to be decided amongst the two people in it when is the right time to stop using condoms. It should be discussed in great depth what the outcome would be in the case where the pill or whichever secondary form of contraceptive fails. Even if the risk is very low, the risk is still more likely to occur with only one contraceptive instead of two so as a couple you need to be prepared for the result.

Also, of course you need to be sure you have both been tested for sexually transmitted infections. I am pretty sure that HIV can still show up 3 months after you’ve been tested. There is a world of more information about that and all kinds of other things on the Mayo Clinic Website HERE.

There is the macabre possibility of unfaithfulness as well, which must inevitably be pointed out in order to scour every possibility of the disadvantages. Some people cheat, it is a fact, so just be certain to consider that you may pick up something you did not mean to in the event where caution is thrown to the wind too readily.

I personally feel I am too old to end a pregnancy so if I accidentally got knocked up (if any guy I date could even get that far) I would insist on having the child. Even though I have absolutely no room in my life for one I would suck it up and seize the day, and that is my own decision. Also I am deathly, utterly afraid of contracting STIs so I prefer to be as safe as can be. So, for me it only makes sense to continue using the pill as well as condoms continuously until the end of time. But that is my personal choice.

If you and your girlfriend agree upon what you would do if she got pregnant, she might be more willing to leave condoms in the drawer. However, if you disagree or she isn’t ready to have to deal with such a decision, it is definitely a good idea to keep drilling with all of your equipment on.

Anonymous and hassle-free, Juliette gives her honest opinion regarding online dating, and modern relationships. All questions submitted will be answered no matter how idiotic, or sexist, or crass, or naive, or bewildering. So don’t be scared…no one will know it’s you she’s mouthing off to if you ask a question you can’t ask anybody else. Juliette wants to scream her advice over the rooftops for the good of all mankind, so bring forth your questions dear readers! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to Juliette’s blog to ensure you get your answer.


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