The Stigma Attached To the Counter-Cultured/Alternative Woman

There is a certain stigma attached to women like me which I have been aware of for years but which was only explained to me with any smidgen of insight a few days ago. A very good male friend Sean explained to me while I was uttering annoyances about a recent suitor’s presumptuous remarks toward …

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2. Gareth – Your Trial and Error and Moral of Failing In Dating A Fine Upstanding Dark and Charismatic Woman

The Trial: Gareth. I met him on a dating website and we wrote and then texted a lot for a few days straight. We seemed to have the same abrasive humor about human beings and jested by insulting each other a lot, which is fun to me. At one point when he brought up wanting …

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4. Theodore: The Trial and Error Of a Solid Start and A Devastatingly Pre-emptive Sexual Comment

The Trial: Theodore was a suitor I met for once in the real world as opposed to online. He was a tall, hot, older surfer looking type but didn’t sound like a smoke-infused idiot. He was postering for a festival and started asking about our selection of sunglasses which he had bought from a couple …

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Rules, Theories and Philosophies I Believe That You Should Believe About Dating, Friendships, Life and Love

impatience-final4.jpgThe etiquette and proper methods of attaining a woman like me. Starting with:

The Theories

Theories by definition, according to answers.com are:

  1. A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena.
  2. The branch of a science or art consisting of its explanatory statements, accepted principles, and methods of analysis, as opposed to practice: a fine musician who had never studied theory.
  3. A set of theorems that constitute a systematic view of a branch of mathematics.
  4. Abstract reasoning; speculation: a decision based on experience rather than theory.
  5. A belief or principle that guides action or assists comprehension or judgment: staked out the house on the theory that criminals usually return to the scene of the crime.
  6. An assumption based on limited information or knowledge; a conjecture.

The Wavelength Theory                                                          2005

The Wavelength Theory rides on the same notion as finding people who are your “type”. But rather than dumbing it down to appearances, musical interest or what we do for a living, it is about being at a level of confidence, emotional and psychological maturity, and views on priorities. This became clear to me when I was meeting people I didn’t seem to have much in common with but who I found intensely interesting and easy to get along with. People who have common interests and/or problems with meeting people and identifying with the regular joes of the world tend to be on the same wavelength as me, because we think in the same margins of human equality. For example, I usually like people who complain about disrespectful or ignorant humans, but I’m not limited to it and it has nothing to do with the way we live other than maybe our upbringing.

The Wavelength has also to do with a feeling of being in a higher state of consciousness than most people. The state of consciousness is a notion of being true to oneself and standing by one’s convictions. It probably sounds pretentious, but they are in fact two very hard traits to find. I am often fooled into thinking I meet people on the wavelength and given my romantic aspirations, I often get excited too quickly and am sorely disappointed. But I think that glitch in my life has been rectified. I have been having issues in the past few years with instantly falling in love when I met someone who seemed to have the same kind of ideas as me about the world, and being completely disappointed when I realize it was all pretty much a sham. I realized that if I tell my ideas to people, they tend to agree with them because the ethics of how I see things are admirable and exciting to new people who are interested in me. Most people although find the ideas admirable, don’t actually live by them. So once this truth of their lack of conviction is revealed, it appears to me as a lie which is a blatant faux-pas in my Code of Ethics, hence the difficulty in finding equals.

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Tips For First Dates

spider2.jpgMost of this advice can apply to women too. It’s not that I don’t like giving women advice, it’s just that I think I am MUCH better at telling men what to do. Here’s a few of the most basic tips for your first date, more will come.

HOW TO DRESS

1. Dress for the place you are going.

2. Dress like you are trying to impress a girl. Any girl. Every girl. What if it doesn’t work out with your date? Maybe there are other hot girls there. Always look impressive. And if you have it, do your hair. No excuses.

There is absolutely no reason to wear a hoodie and your oldest pair of shorts to a first date unless you are going kitesurfing (whatever that is). If you are meeting in a lounge, wear a button up shirt. Eve if you wear it with good jeans, you will look like you cared about looking good for her. Even if you only have t-shirts, wear your best t-shirt and wear non-jeans with it. Girls notice. Think about it, if the girl showed up wearing yoga pants and a hoodie that says “Princess” on it you would probably not be terrible impressed. Consider that women also want to get an idea of what a man’s body type is. We as the fairer species don’t get the luxurious chance of having men turn up in a skin tight leg-showing, cleavage-advertising ensemble, so think about how you want to portray yourself. As a sweatpants-wearing hobo? Or a respectable classy guy.

For women: I live by the standard that if you dress like a hussy on the first date it will be assumed you are a hussy. Good for you if you like to sleep with guys on their first date, that is fine but I don’t. So I do not wear short skirts, I limit the cleavage, and I usually wear my hair down. I find that it successfully keeps men from making awkward premature advances. If you dress like a business lady (which I am) I usually get treated respectfully like one.

Also an important note to make for women on first dates, is not to go too over the tp if you intend to see the man again. You don’t want to show him the best you’ve got on the first shot.  On the first date, if you are a 10, dress like a 7. On the second date, dress like an 8. On the third date show up as your 10 self and you decide by how much you like him or want to sleep with him when you bring out the short skirts and boob shirts.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to being a complete tease, but I have found that it is best for me to see what the guy is like first before bringing out the big guns (not that I have big guns).

WHERE TO MEET

Ask the girl. It is gentlemanly and thoughtful to let her choose where to go, especially if you have never met before. Maybe she is more comfortable playing mini golf, or in a crowded restaurant, or like me getting wasted on wine in a lounge. If she says she “doesn’t care”, take everything you know about her and deduce what is the best setting by that knowledge. If she likes fishing, offer to take her to do something where there is water. If she likes Thai food, offer to take her to a Thai restaurant. If she likes wine (like me! She is probably a champ you won’t want to mess this up with!) offer to take her to a wine bar. If she is shy, you might want to offer to break the getting-to-know-you ice in stages by taking her to the theatre or a movie.

Note I wrote for each option “offer”. Don’t assume that just because she says she “doesn’t care” that it means she is up for anything, or likes surprises, or that she believes you will magically choose the right place. Maybe she does in fact believe that, but don’t set yourself up for disaster. For example if a guy took me to a steak house not knowing that I’m a vegetarian, I would be fine because I could choose other things on the menu, however he might feel stupid that he didn’t ask and then act like a self-conscious ass for the entire date. Make sure you decide together on the location.

DON’T BE LATE

Chances are it won’t be the end of the world if you are a few minutes late, except that it will result in your first ever conversation with the new girl being on the subject of being late. Think about how you screw up any meeting where the first thing you have to talk about is why you weren’t there on time. Even if you are only going to be two minutes late, call ahead and warn her so you don’t have to talk about it when you meet in person.

He was a several minutes late which, thoughtless as it may have been, wasn’t the end of the world, except that it resulted in the first conversation we ever had being on the subject of drying undershirts. Think about how you screw up any meeting where the first thing you have to talk about is why you weren’t there on time. Call ahead and warn her so you don’t have to talk about it when you meet in person.

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3. Mike: My Trial and Error Of Trying To Date Not Only A Touring Rockstar, But Also A Scorpio

Article 3. You have seen the photos, you have read the evidence, you are beginning to get the gist of who I am. There is an unusual pattern in my dating history of mysterious behaviour that can only be explained by my intimidating nature…or…is it something else? Peppered evenly over the rancid dating experiences are …

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1. Victor: The Trial and Error of dating the Counter-Cultured Woman Of Your Dreams

The Trial: Victor. We met on a dating website, didn’t converse much before he asked me out but what I did know that I liked about him was, he was a few years younger than me, likes to dress up in costumes, and is in Marketing. I told him I only go on drinking dates …

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A Hot Ticket Exposes What Extinguishes Her Desires

evenwithbrownrollerskates-doubleWhere does a girl like me find dates? All over the place. Also, almost never. A myth exists that women who look like me only date guys who dress like us. It’s false. One day I might look like a vampire, the next day I might look like a farm girl, the day after that I’ll look like your favorite secretary. I have made my profession in unconventional fashion and ooze multiple styles through my every word and through my every pore. Stop judging the book by its cover and consider that by the time a woman is in her thirties she is less stereotypical about which type she likes, and focuses more on the specific behavioral elements that there is no way you could ever know we will love or hate until you exude them. I don’t have a type. I am complex. This is an example of what not to do and say to a woman who is more confident than you, has better style than you, owns a business in the fashion industry, and who is more independent and happy on her own than she would probably ever be with any guy. Here is how to get the perfect woman to like you. Or, ask me a question:

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