Q&A: My girlfriend is gaining weight at an alarming pace. Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Juliette,

My girlfriend is gaining weight at an alarming pace. I mean, really alarming, she used to be skinny and really hot when I met her and now she is letting herself go, doesn’t seem to care that she is getting really fat. I don’t know if she is bingeing when I’m not around or what is going on, but as superficial as it makes me feel I am becoming less attracted to her and I don’t see any polite way of bringing it up. Do you have any suggestions?

My Dear Reader,

You are absolutely right, there is no polite way of bringing up your girl becoming a heffer. That was rude. I’m sorry. It would be less rude of me to ask you to think about how much weight we are talking about here. Like 10 pounds? Or like 50 pounds? Some women, such as I, have the wonderful quality of gaining weight only in the boobs and stomach area so at least if I am going to become obese, I will have giant tits to go with it. A potbelly as well, but big giant knockers which, if i can ever manage to tolerate a man for longer than one date, may or may not be appreciated by that man. Maybe she is also one of those women. Maybe 10 pounds just isn’t anything to be worried about. Maybe you are exaggerating the situation. I know that upon entering my thirties I started having to watch what I ate for the first time ever, so maybe it is just her metabolism or something age related. It could be medical, psychological, maybe she has quit smoking recently? Or given up a different vice? Started drinking more? Is she taking new medication? Sometimes the pill can increase a woman’s weight. Is she stressed out about anything? Something as simple as eating fast food for lunch every day instead of bringing your own could make a huge difference. Don’t mind the pun. There is a gigantic number of possibilities.

morrisonBut back to the task at hand. If it is less than say, 10 pounds in a month maybe that is something she isn’t even aware of. I imagine the only way to broach that subject is to coyly ask her if she would like to start eating healthier with you. If you make it about yourself, maybe she will not take it personally. Tell her you think it would be fun to go to the gym together, or biking, or running, or whatever exercise you think she would be into. Frankly, you have only about a 10% chance that she won’t see what you’re getting at, and about a 5% chance that she won’t get offended, so be prepared to get a mouthful regardless of what you say.

Women are defensive about their appearances because of the way we grew up idolizing supermodels when we should have been idolizing women who dress and behave and look the way they want to with confidence and class (I should really end up being someone’s idol.) Our society brainwashed both men and women into thinking that we know what type of woman a man wants, so the question is, are you the stereotype of a man that a woman wants? Could it be possible that you were in better shape when you two hooked up? I find that men seem to think beer bellies are no big deal while an expectation for a woman to remain the same size is the norm. So, perhaps look in the mirror to be sure you are playing fair with your lady. If you have gained weight or changed your appearance due to a lack of trying, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut and leave your girlfriend alone about her weight.

If you are being fair, if you feel comfortable doing it, you could try asking one of her friends if they have noticed and if they know of anything going on with her that has caused it. This is a sketchy situation because you don’t want to ask the wrong friend who rats on you and hurts your girlfriend’s feelings and makes you look bad. Your best bet is to show concern for her health, not concern for your sexual desire. Regardless of whether you say anything to her or not, you need to continuously  make her feel confident or you have a very good chance of never seeing her naked again. If you focus on making her feel loved and cared for and super bombshell sexy, she will probably be a lot more likely to try harder to please you in every way. Insulting her by superficializing your relationship won’t help either of you so if you are going to address this subject you better be walking on eggshells the whole way through and be prepared for a tear-filled fight if you break any of the shells. Be careful, or you might lose her.

Once people are in committed relationships they are commonly known to “let themselves go” so in the case where you don’t see it being a medical or psychological issue, I would say the best suggestion is to be enthusiastic about eating healthy together and exercising together in order to ensure that it is only your sex life which remains heavy. Best of luck.

Anonymous and hassle-free, Juliette gives her honest opinion regarding online dating, and modern relationships. All questions submitted will be answered no matter how idiotic, or sexist, or crass, or naive, or bewildering. So don’t be scared…no one will know it’s you she’s mouthing off to if you ask a question you can’t ask anybody else. Juliette wants to scream her advice over the rooftops for the good of all mankind, so bring forth your questions dear readers! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to Juliette’s blog to ensure you get your answer.

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