Q&A: How Do I Get a Girl To Sleep With Me On the First Date?

Dear Juliette,
How do I get a girl to sleep with me on the first date?
My Dear Reader,

I knew this was going to happen, so how appropriate for this to be the first question submitted…and frankly I am happy to address it so you can all ready my opinion on the subject.

cherrybombSince the sexual liberation of women of the past several decades, it has become a common thing to get laid on the first date. I defend sexually liberated women constantly from being called all types of nasty names even though I am not one. I am old-fashioned in the way that I need to be sure I like the guy first, information I slowly and torturously compile through a series of grueling tests, but I am undoubtedly a special case.

I believe people should do what makes them happy and if having sex on the first date is what you are after, I would perhaps suggest trying not to call it a “date”. If you are only trying to get laid, you are not really trying to date. There is a big difference. Dating implies that you are trying to get to know someone to see if it leads to a relationship and all things relationshipesque (some of which are mentioned below in the possibilities which sex on a first date can also beget), where just trying to get laid can lead to one or more of many things including but not limited to; one night stands, booty calls, a relationship (certainly, sometimes), sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregancies, girls who won’t stop calling you, hurt feelings, getting beaten up by someone’s beefcake older brother, etc, or it could also lead to absolutely nothing. Because of the afflictions that can come with sex, it is silly to a logical mind like mine to invite someone I don’t know that close to me, I reserve the possibilities of everything that goes with sex for only those I deem worthy. (Which is rarely, if ever.) Awareness of what you are implicating yourself in is difficult if you are meeting the person for the first time that day, or are at least hanging out with them on a personal level for the first time.

If you are just trying to get laid I strongly suggest using a dating website and being completely honest about your intentions. If you indicate that all you want is a hook up, you can find girls looking for the same thing and you two can have your fun and walk away. From years of using dating websites, I can tell who I will not get along with within one or two email exchanges. I can see through the guys who lie about their intentions because their conversational skills are lacking and they are too lazy to write back and forth for the amount of time that it takes before making plans to meet. So I do not recommend trying to lie to women about what you want, women are smart and some of them just want sex from you and nothing else too so choose those ones if that is what you are after.

However, if you somehow have already decided you want a relationship with a girl on the first date and want to speed demon into boyfriendland by sleeping together, well, my advice is: Don’t. I think it is better to see how it goes for a few dates and let the girl make the first move. Men are sexier when they don’t lunge at us like horndog 13 year old boys. I like when men let me be the boss and wait for me to decide the right moment for the first kiss, and the first everything else. Take it from me, the sex will be better if you wait longer.

-Juliette

Anonymous and hassle-free, Juliette gives her honest opinion regarding online dating, and modern relationships. All questions submitted will be answered no matter how idiotic, or sexist, or crass, or naive, or bewildering. So don’t be scared…no one will know it’s you she’s mouthing off to if you ask a question you can’t ask anybody else. Juliette wants to scream her advice over the rooftops for the good of all mankind, so bring forth your questions dear readers! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to Juliette’s blog to ensure you get your answer.

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