Q&A: When Is It OK To Stop Using Condoms In A Monogamous Relationship?

Dear Juliette, I have been dating a girl exclusively for two months and she still insists on using condoms even though she is on the pill. I think she is being paranoid. When is it ok to stop using condoms in a committed monogamous relationship? My Dear Reader, I think that in each individual relationship …

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Q&A: How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Loves Me?

Dear Juliette, I’m not sure with my boyfriend if he truly loves me or not. What to do? My Dear Reader, I think that this is the greatest stigma attached to love and relationships. We struggle with whether or not to trust someone, whether or not to give them your heart, whether or not to …

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Tips For First Dates

spider2.jpgMost of this advice can apply to women too. It’s not that I don’t like giving women advice, it’s just that I think I am MUCH better at telling men what to do. Here’s a few of the most basic tips for your first date, more will come.

HOW TO DRESS

1. Dress for the place you are going.

2. Dress like you are trying to impress a girl. Any girl. Every girl. What if it doesn’t work out with your date? Maybe there are other hot girls there. Always look impressive. And if you have it, do your hair. No excuses.

There is absolutely no reason to wear a hoodie and your oldest pair of shorts to a first date unless you are going kitesurfing (whatever that is). If you are meeting in a lounge, wear a button up shirt. Eve if you wear it with good jeans, you will look like you cared about looking good for her. Even if you only have t-shirts, wear your best t-shirt and wear non-jeans with it. Girls notice. Think about it, if the girl showed up wearing yoga pants and a hoodie that says “Princess” on it you would probably not be terrible impressed. Consider that women also want to get an idea of what a man’s body type is. We as the fairer species don’t get the luxurious chance of having men turn up in a skin tight leg-showing, cleavage-advertising ensemble, so think about how you want to portray yourself. As a sweatpants-wearing hobo? Or a respectable classy guy.

For women: I live by the standard that if you dress like a hussy on the first date it will be assumed you are a hussy. Good for you if you like to sleep with guys on their first date, that is fine but I don’t. So I do not wear short skirts, I limit the cleavage, and I usually wear my hair down. I find that it successfully keeps men from making awkward premature advances. If you dress like a business lady (which I am) I usually get treated respectfully like one.

Also an important note to make for women on first dates, is not to go too over the tp if you intend to see the man again. You don’t want to show him the best you’ve got on the first shot.  On the first date, if you are a 10, dress like a 7. On the second date, dress like an 8. On the third date show up as your 10 self and you decide by how much you like him or want to sleep with him when you bring out the short skirts and boob shirts.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to being a complete tease, but I have found that it is best for me to see what the guy is like first before bringing out the big guns (not that I have big guns).

WHERE TO MEET

Ask the girl. It is gentlemanly and thoughtful to let her choose where to go, especially if you have never met before. Maybe she is more comfortable playing mini golf, or in a crowded restaurant, or like me getting wasted on wine in a lounge. If she says she “doesn’t care”, take everything you know about her and deduce what is the best setting by that knowledge. If she likes fishing, offer to take her to do something where there is water. If she likes Thai food, offer to take her to a Thai restaurant. If she likes wine (like me! She is probably a champ you won’t want to mess this up with!) offer to take her to a wine bar. If she is shy, you might want to offer to break the getting-to-know-you ice in stages by taking her to the theatre or a movie.

Note I wrote for each option “offer”. Don’t assume that just because she says she “doesn’t care” that it means she is up for anything, or likes surprises, or that she believes you will magically choose the right place. Maybe she does in fact believe that, but don’t set yourself up for disaster. For example if a guy took me to a steak house not knowing that I’m a vegetarian, I would be fine because I could choose other things on the menu, however he might feel stupid that he didn’t ask and then act like a self-conscious ass for the entire date. Make sure you decide together on the location.

DON’T BE LATE

Chances are it won’t be the end of the world if you are a few minutes late, except that it will result in your first ever conversation with the new girl being on the subject of being late. Think about how you screw up any meeting where the first thing you have to talk about is why you weren’t there on time. Even if you are only going to be two minutes late, call ahead and warn her so you don’t have to talk about it when you meet in person.

He was a several minutes late which, thoughtless as it may have been, wasn’t the end of the world, except that it resulted in the first conversation we ever had being on the subject of drying undershirts. Think about how you screw up any meeting where the first thing you have to talk about is why you weren’t there on time. Call ahead and warn her so you don’t have to talk about it when you meet in person.

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Q&A: How Do I Walk Away From A Two Year Relationship?

Dear Juliette, How do I walk away from a two year relationship? My Dear Reader, My first instinct is to ask what the reason is for the break up. Do you just not love her? (For the sake of writing I will assume you are a man wanting to break up with a woman, if …

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Q&A: My girlfriend is gaining weight at an alarming pace. Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Juliette, My girlfriend is gaining weight at an alarming pace. I mean, really alarming, she used to be skinny and really hot when I met her and now she is letting herself go, doesn’t seem to care that she is getting really fat. I don’t know if she is bingeing when I’m not around …

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Q&A: What Do I Do when My Girlfriend’s Friend Comes On To Me?

Dear Juliette, My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. I always knew one of her friends liked me. Last week her friend tried to kiss me when my girlfriend wasn’t in the room at a party when we were all drunk. I was horrified and didn’t know what to do so …

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Q&A: I Had A Date With Someone I Really Like But When He Called Me For A Second Date I Was Busy so I Think He Is Angry Now, What Should I Do?

Dear Juliette, I’m stuck with dating things. Last time I had a date with someone that I really like, he called me after our date and he asked me for a second date but I was busy so I think he was angry for that. So I called him back to fix another date but …

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