Q&A: How Do I Find Out About A Girl’s Sexual History?

Dear Juliette,

I just started dating a girl and I like her a lot but she has a bit of a reputation for being slutty. I am not totally sure if all the stories I have heard are true, but how can I ask her without her being offended?

My Dear Reader,

Number one, above ALL else, what the hell is “being slutty” defined as? What is the magic number of guys a girl has given it up to supposed to be that men will accept her to have? In exactly which situations is a woman permitted to have sex where she won’t be judged as being a whore? How well does a lady have to know her suitor before sleeping with him in order to avoid being called a tramp?

NurseClauseEvery man has a different idea of what number is too high, which situation is too erratic, which length of time is too short, but a double standard exists where us women aren’t supposed to care about any of these aspects of a man’s sexuality. Well my advice is this: you shouldn’t care. No one should, and if you like her, just like her and don’t concern yourself with who or how many times she has done the deed before you. Half the stories you heard probably aren’t even true so grow up. This is the year 2013 and women are allowed to like sex too. We are finally at a point where we can wield our sexuality like a gift and it doesn’t concern you where we have wielded it before.

The only thing you should care about is if ANY woman you intend to sleep with (and I mean ANY, virgin, slut, prostitute, ex-nun, average Jane, etc) has been tested for sexually transmitted infections before you get to that point. I am what some might call a paranoid safety fiend, but I am proud of it. There are numerous obstacles a man must accomplish before getting in my panties and one of them is a clean bill of health. It usually takes less than two weeks to get the results, which is a fine amount of time to get to know someone before you jump down their pants. I am adamant that any man who won’t get the test, or is a little crying bitch about waiting for it, is not worth my time.

Obviously, some people don’t believe in waiting that out but since you are already thinking about asking the girl you like about her past (which i shall underline is none of your damn business) you might score more brownie points by behaving responsibly and asking her about testing instead. It is a coincidentally a backhanded way of dodging the STI bullet as well as being sure she knows you are serious about her. If she gets offended, I recommend the same fate to her as a suitor I once had who acted like a spoiled horndog schoolboy (that is Albert’s story, it will come soon) about it, ditch her. In this day and age there is absolutely no reason not to expect a future sexual partner to get tested before sleeping together. Just because not everyone gets tested, it doesn;t mean it isn’t irresponsible. Any rational person will understand and hopefully even appreciate your cautiousness.

So don’t ask a woman about her sexual past unless you want to hear a bunch of stuff you really don’t want to know. It’s the past. Unless somebody has medical afflictions still being carried around due to their past sexual engagements, there is no need for you to know anything about it. I am highly confident that at the end of the day you will be glad you didn’t ask her about any numbers or specific experiences. If you want her to be your girl, treat her with respect, and if she wants to talk about it later on she will tell you without you having to ask. Good luck.


Anonymous and hassle-free, Juliette gives her honest opinion regarding online dating, and modern relationships. All questions submitted will be answered no matter how idiotic, or sexist, or crass, or naive, or bewildering. So don’t be scared…no one will know it’s you she’s mouthing off to if you ask a question you can’t ask anybody else. Juliette wants to scream her advice over the rooftops for the good of all mankind, so bring forth your questions dear readers! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to Juliette’s blog to ensure you get your answer.


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